Winifred Hodge Rose
Here I’m responding to several questions from a reader, relating to ethics and our relationships with the Holy Ones, that I think are of general interest to us as Heathens.
What do we do if it seems that the Gods are telling or asking us to go against our own ethical principles?
I want to start by placing this into the context of a larger question: what role do Heathen Gods play in human ethics and laws?
In the monotheistic religions and some polytheistic religions, their Gods themselves made laws for humans and set humans to follow them. Following ‘God’s law’ and being an ethical person is considered one and the same thing. You’re not supposed to hold any ethical beliefs that contradict your God’s laws, or at least what you are taught about them by your religious establishment. The Old Testament account of Yahweh telling Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac is a heart-wrenching example of this principle. Failing to follow ‘God’s law,’ in this belief, might or might not result in the immediate infliction of ‘God’s wrath’, but it certainly results in inescapable punishment during the afterlife.
This point of view is deeply embedded in many cultures–including ours–for historical reasons, even when individuals might not be seriously committed to any of the religions that teach this. So in this world-view, while there may be controversy, confusion, and heart-searching about how to interpret ‘God’s law,’ the possibility of someone being ethically obliged to reject a direct command or request from their God simply doesn’t come up. Not to mention that these religious establishments would not agree that an individual person could receive a valid command from God outside of established religious authority.
Not Specific ‘Laws,’ but Troth and Frith
Our religion is very different, and it’s one of the main reasons I like it! As a disclaimer: what I write here can be both supported and contradicted by historical and literary evidence. This is my interpretation of complex evidence, based on my understanding and practice of troth with our Holy Ones. So: our Gods do not give us specific ‘laws’ in the same sense as some other religions have them, particularly the monotheistic ones. (In fact, this is one of the reasons that cultures permeated by monotheistic religions, such as ours, don’t want to accept that the Heathen and similar religions are ‘real’ religions: because we don’t have ‘divine laws’ we must follow, nor do we have creeds or doctrines. Supposedly, this makes our religion not a ‘real’ one!)
Our Deities have, especially in the past, indicated how they want to be worshipped—the customs and rituals to practice for this purpose—but these are not laws that govern the full conduct of human affairs. And yet, ‘law’ was an extremely important concept in all the old Heathen cultures. Among other things it was used to define the identity of a community or a tribe: being within the law meant being a member of the community governed by those laws; when one transgressed them one was out-lawed, cast out of the community. When the Ostrogoths conquered Rome after the empire fragmented, Gothic rulers recognized two sets of laws: one for Goths, one for Romans; each person was supposed to follow the law of their own tribe. (This approach was considered fair to all, but was so complex and unwieldy that it was abandoned after a couple of generations.)
To emphasize the importance of law, among the Continental Germanic and Anglo-Saxon peoples, the term for a priest was Æweweard (A-S) / Ewart (OHG) and their cognates. There were other terms for priestly roles such as ‘bloteres’ or sacrificers, and ‘heargweards’ or temple-wardens, but what one might call ‘high priest’ was termed Æweweard, and this can be loosely translated as ‘warder of the law,’ the Æ / Æwe / E- / Eu / Ehe (pronounced like ‘aye, a-weh, ey’). So if their high priests were ‘warders of the law,’ doesn’t that mean that there was a set of divine laws that they were given and were expected to follow?
My answer is ‘yes’ and ‘no’, and it’s based on the more precise meaning of Æwe. This word can be translated as ‘law,’ but more precisely it means something like ‘troth, covenant.’ It was also the word for a legal marriage, a form of troth, and survives today in the modern German word for marriage-troth: Ehe. What the Æwe-weard warded was not specific cast-in-stone ‘laws’ given by the Gods, but the troth between Deities and humans. In order to maintain this troth, customs, rituals, practices, traditions, rules, expectations of behavior developed over time and became established. The Æweweard warded them through his / her religious functions, and the E-saga or Eh-saga (ey-saga), the law-speaker, remembered, recited and applied them for judicial purposes.
There’s a big difference here between Æwe versus specific divine laws handed down from on high. In my understanding, the purpose of the Æwe-law was to maintain troth and frith between humans and their Gods, and just as importantly, maintain troth and frith within the human community. Gods, folk, law, frith, community: all are knitted together through their own Æwe, their troth with one another. In different places and times, different communities, different historical and cultural circumstances, different laws and customs may be needed to support a given community’s well-being under its own specific circumstances.
Just as with a marriage or a partnership, the customs and rules of behavior may need to change from time to time to support a healthy relationship as circumstances change. The people and other beings involved in a relationship of troth do not exist to serve the law; the law is not an end in itself. In my understanding, the laws exist solely to support troth and frith, and if they are failing to do so, then they need to be changed.
In other words, as I see it the only real ‘law’ given to us by our Gods is the establishment of troth with them, and the frith that supports it. This ‘law’ or troth establishes us as a community of frith. ‘How to make frith work’ is a human responsibility, and in my view it lies at the heart of any question regarding Heathen ethics and our Deities. The Gods expect us to value troth and frith, with them and among ourselves. They expect us to figure out how to maintain troth and frith, and they respect us for our achievements in that regard. And that is what any system of ethics, anywhere, does: it provides customs, practices, rules, traditions, philosophical understanding, that help maintain frith within the community.
The fact that frith between people and Deities was highly valued is shown by the existence of old Heathen ‘frithsteads’—places of worship that could be small and personal or large and communal—where frith was required toward the Gods and among those who attended there. Heathen frithsteads persisted through centuries of Christian pressure against them, and when public practice of Heathenry was outlawed, they were hidden carefully but still tended. These holy places, whatever their size or nature, were always considered places of frith, places where troth was honored.
It’s interesting to note that our Heathen Deities model frith among themselves far better than many Deities in other polytheistic and monotheistic pantheons. In between the end of the Æsir-Vanir war, at the beginning, and the breakdown of frith that leads to Ragnarök at the end, we might see occasional insults or disagreements between our Deities in the lore, but nothing like the envious rivalries and warring demands that could appear among and between Deities of other pantheons.
Look at the Lokasenna in the Poetic Edda: Loki flings insults and accusations at one Deity after another, and in each case, some other Goddess or God steps forth to defend the accused. Instead of it turning into a free-for-all brawl with old grievances bursting out in all directions, as could easily have happened, it was an occasion where they all stood together in solidarity against their accuser, just as oath-helpers would vouch for someone accused in the judicial custom of the old Thingsteads or assemblies. There are so many instances where the Heathen Deities work together, help each other out, stand together against adversity. I write about the establishment of frith among them after the Æsir-Vanir war in my article “Kvasir and the Fermentation of Wisdom;” this frith that they established and model among themselves is no small thing, and is not that common among pantheons.
So what I’m saying here is that our Deities do value frith (admittedly, some do so more than others!), and I believe that they expect it of us—expect us to establish and maintain it, as was done in the old frithsteads. In order to do so, we must develop ethical beliefs and practices, which may vary somewhat across time, place, and culture, but which are intended to maintain frith. My articles “Frith, Friendship, and Freedom,” and “Heathen Frith and Modern Ideals” discuss this in more detail.
What should we do if we perceive that a Deity is asking us to go against our ethical principles?
First of all, I have my doubts that a Deity would be genuinely asking us today to transgress our ethical principles. As I just finished discussing at length, I think that holding ethical principles is something that our Deities encourage, for the purpose of supporting frith. I think that far more often, when people think a Deity wants something unethical, it’s really coming from the person or the person’s society and culture, not from the Deity, and is intended as an excuse to sideline any ethical constraints on one’s behavior. However, this is not to downplay the wrenching ethical difficulties that can arise in complex situations where there are sometimes no good choices available and one must figure out the ‘least-bad.’ In the latter situations we must consult with our Deities and consider our own ethics, and chart the best path forward that we can.
But here’s the bottom line: all along, for humans as a whole and for us as individuals, the Holy Ones guide us toward developing our own wisdom, our own strength, our ethics, our sense of responsibility, our own honor and courage. They expect this of us, and they push us into situations where we’re challenged to grow in this regard. And when we do develop these qualities they respect and honor us for this achievement. So when there is an apparent conflict between what we think they’re asking of us, and our own ethics, honor, responsibility (including responsibility for our own well-being)—all the very best of our own humanity–they would fully expect us to stand our own ground, and in fact will respect us for doing so. They actually want us to grow up! Generally, some time spent in clarifying the words of the Gods and our own underlying motivations will resolve any apparent conflicts.
However, they will also expect us to endure any negative consequences of our choices; we’re not always rewarded in any obvious ways when we make the tough choices. There are times when making the right choices seems only to cause us pain and difficulties, no rewards. That can happen even for the Gods…and the Einherjar. Instead of regarding such results as ‘punishment’ from the Gods or Wyrd, we can view it as part of our troth, our Æwe, the commitments of faith, trust, and solidarity that we weave as we walk with the Gods and our fellow humans, with Nature and other beings, along the demanding and difficult paths of life in Midgard.
Does going against the wishes of our Deities damage our relationship with them?
In my experience, and my observation of other modern Heathens, my response is that in general: no, choosing not to follow their wishes does not do harm to our relationships if pursued in the right way, for the right reasons.
It depends, of course, on the reason why we go against their wishes. If it is because we take them lightly, scoff at their wishes, act like our relationship with them is a game or something to joke with our friends about, then that’s a different matter, of course. Our Deities can definitely take a joke—look at tales of Thor in the old poetry, for example. It’s fine to express a sense of camaraderie with them and be informal, casual, humorous. But there needs to be an underlying sense of respect, trust, faith in them…it’s like being with close friends: people can joke around with each other up to a point, but there’s always a line that shouldn’t be crossed.
Where that line lies is something we work out individually with each Deity. Frigg prefers more courtesy but can also deal with what lies deep in our hearts; Thor is fine with horsing around but I would not try it with Tyr or Mimir; Heimdall tends to be caring but rather distant; Freya and Odin can deal with a lot of ambiguity of feelings and thoughts, but Odin may give you the same in return, etc.
These are relationships that we grow and nurture over time, and each one is unique. When we disagree with a Deity about an ethical matter or a matter that is personally important to us, we can do what we would do in a human relationship: work it out. Understand where the other one is coming from, make sure your position is understood, evaluate these positions based on this better understanding, and take it from there. Take into account that the Deity is wiser than you are and has a broader, longer point of view, but also that you are in charge of yourself, responsible for your choices and actions, and have a right to govern your own life based on your values and goals (as long as that does not interfere with others doing the same). Including making your own mistakes and learning from them. Be aware of how easily misunderstandings arise—even among humans, more so between humans and Deities—and look carefully for such misunderstandings as you work things through.
The Deity’s wishes may not always be aligned with your own personal desires, outlooks, or intentions, and vice versa. Their wishes may at times be focused more on some other good than on your own personal good—that’s often what Deities do, and it’s a good thing in general! But complying with that wish may come at a cost to you, and you are ‘allowed’ to take that cost into consideration.
I went through a situation like that: urged by Frigg to found and lead a Heathen organization and to learn and teach about Heathen frith. I followed those urgings and I believe this brought about very good results over several years, but the pressure and workload added to my other life-responsibilities resulted in permanent bad effects on my health, and the need for me to eventually let it go and focus inwards rather than outwards for a number of years. (Frigg was, in fact, quite heavy-handed with me, and rather amusingly it was Odin who suggested she back off a bit and give me some space—a reversal of their usual roles! But he had his own agenda too and became one of my guides during that inner spiritual process that he urged me to follow. Nor was he gentle with his own urgings, and I had to stand up to him on occasion, as well.) The effort for Frigg was worth it, and I don’t regret my choices, but I also think that if I’d said “I’m sorry, this is too much to ask of me,” I would have been justified as well, and I doubt I would have been ‘punished’ or rejected for that choice.
What I’ve written here implies close, active, and aware relationships with the Deities, and I know it can be challenging to pursue those with confidence. The articles I list under the menu headers “Heathen Spiritual Practices,” and “Deities” might offer some helpful approaches and background for developing those relationships in more depth.
What are we here for? Why do the Gods guide us—are we simply their servants? Where and how do we humans fit into the Worlds, what is our place?
These are questions we must each answer for ourselves, and we may each find different answers. But since I’m asked, I’ll offer mine!
The best phrase I can find to answer this question of ‘why are we here?’ is “Expansion of Being.” I think this applies to everything that exists in any sense of ‘Being,’ including the Deities and spiritual as well as physical beings. This expansion of being includes:
growth in all directions,
richness of experience and learning,
interrelationships of all kinds with other beings of all kinds,
enhancement of all our abilities and qualities and finding the best ways to express them,
refinement and strengthening of our moral character through the challenges of life experience,
the growth of wisdom and healthy compassion,
the development of new abilities such as those we now call ‘paranormal’ or esoteric,
pursuing new discoveries and creativity on the individual and societal levels at inner and outer levels of Being,
contributing to the wellbeing of others and the Worlds around us,
building healthy and thriving societies here in Midgard,
honoring this beautiful Earth and all her children…well, this list could expand indefinitely!
I don’t see us so much as ‘servants of the Gods’ in these endeavors; rather I see us as their partners—junior partners, to be sure, but still partners. Partnership implies freedom of choice, willingness, joint responsibility, flexibility, autonomy, and the growth and development of all the partners. The tweaking and tending of human evolution by the Deities—individually and as a species—I think serves Expansion of Being rather than serving the Deities personally, though they and all of us gain personal benefits and satisfaction from it as well.
As I write on the home page of this website, I see all the Worlds and Beings as part of a great spiritual-physical ecosystem within which we each—Deities, humans, all Beings—have roles that we can play to support that system in its health and growth, its beauty and its mystery. Everything I write about, and all that underlies what I write about, is intended as my offering to support this great ecosystem that encompasses us all and forms the substrate for our mutual expansion of being. This service is offered not because anyone (Gods included) says I have to do it, nor because I am ‘programmed’ to do so—this is not the kind of work that can be programmed or forced. I offer it because that is my Will, supported by all my souls. This work supports my own Expansion of Being for sure, and would be worth it just for that, but I hope it contributes to the Expansion of Being for others, as well.