Winifred Hodge Rose
(This is a chapter in my serial novel, Gridhr Jotun-Kin. Click on the menu-header above with this title, and the list of chapters will appear in order, beginning with the Prologue.)
Gridhr, fathoms deep in darkness, floated slowly toward the light of awareness. The darkness of her unconsciousness paled slowly to grey, and it was awhile before she realized she actually was awake, looking up into a pearly dawn sky skimmed with clouds. Her first thought, oddly, was to realize how long it had been since she had seen the silver falcon that used to wing her way slowly across the dawn when she awakened earlier in their journey. The falcon that she suspected was Frigg herself, or a sending of hers. Wondering why Frigg no longer followed or guided her brought Gridhr fully awake to question where she was and what had been happening. She turned over to sit up, and fell back with a cry of pain.
She jumped again when a small, hairy face with beady eyes loomed over her, until she caught his look of concern and relaxed a bit.
“Porridge! You came back!”
“I did. I could smell that the children needed me. And you too, of course. And there is still a bit of porridge left in your sack.”
Gridhr smothered a smile at that, thinking of the landwight’s unaccountable fondness for her unborn children. Apparently she was just a necessary attachment, a carrier of bags of babies and oat groats! Her smile quickly faded, though, as she took stock of her situation. Her leg was paining her badly, she felt weak, beaten and confused, she had no idea where she was, and Skadhi was nowhere in sight.
“Where is Skadhi? What happened? What’s wrong with my leg? Where….” She stopped at the sight of Porridge’s upheld hand.
“One question at a time, Gridhr. Your leg was broken during your fight with Angrboda.”
Letting out a hissing breath, Gridhr lay back and pulled her blanket up over her chin, peering over the edge of it at the landwight. She did not feel ready to deal with her blurred and frightening remembrance of the battle with the witch-wind.
Apparently sensing this, Porridge went on. “Skadhi carried you as far as she could, Gridhr, and I found your camp that night. She was glad to see me! The next morning she said she had dreamed where your Grandmother is, and she went off to get help for you. She didn’t think it was very far. That was yesterday.”
“I’ve been asleep for two days?”
“You woke up for a little when I tended your leg yesterday evening, but I guess you don’t remember that.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Your children have been sleeping all this time, too.”
Gridhr was shaken by a wave of panic. “What’s wrong with them? Are they hurt? Did Angrboda hurt them?”
Porridge patted her soothingly on the shoulder. “They’re alright, Gridhr, don’t worry. I can tell by their smell. But they fought Angrboda with you, too, and they’re very tired. They’re still really little, you know.”
“They fought Angrboda too? What…?” Gridhr felt faint again. Yes, it was true. She remembered the glowing light pouring out, the red energy and the blue, the galdor and the call. And the strange clashing, growling, and the mighty thump that ended it all. Her children? Could they possibly have done these things somehow? And now they had been quiet in her womb for two days, Porridge said. Could she trust his nose to tell whether they were unhurt, whether indeed they were still alive? This was all simply too much. Tears welled in her eyes, and her chest quivered with a sob.
Patting her shoulder again, Porridge moved over to the fire and the leather cauldron-bag that hung over it. He spooned out a bowl of porridge and brought it over to her.
“Here, you need to eat something. You’ll feel better when you’re stronger.”
“Why is this porridge green?”
“It’s green because I put some herbs in it to strengthen and calm you. They will do you good, you’ll see. Here….” Porridge pulled her sack over to prop her up a bit, then handed her the spoon while he held the bowl close.
Fighting a childish urge to complain and spurn the herb-laced porridge, which smelled rather strange, Gridhr dutifully spooned up the mess, and did indeed feel somewhat better after she had eaten it. Porridge handed her a crutch he had shaped for her, helped her maneuver her splinted leg over to the bushes to relieve herself, then prepared a more comfortable spot for her to sit and handed her a steaming mug.
“More herbs?”
“Just so.”
“My leg is hurting a lot.”
“This will help.”
“Tell me what you’re using here, Porridge. It’s good to have the herb-lore. I’m sure I’ll need it while my children are growing up….” Her chest began to quiver again. What if they were dead, and would never be growing up?
“Gridhr.” Porridge looked seriously into her eyes. “Your children are unharmed. They’re just tired and need to rest. I know them well, my girl. I’ve talked to them and sung to them, I’ve taught them, I’ve wakened their spirits with the megin, the power, of the land and all that grows on it. They are great and strong beings, Gridhr. They are the children of Gods, are they not?”
Mutely, Gridhr nodded. She didn’t really know what that meant, she realized. There was just so much here that she didn’t understand, couldn’t grasp and sort out in her mind. She felt young, ignorant, confused and helpless. She wasn’t used to this. She knew she was strong, had a good mind, a bright spirit, a stout heart. She had always thought these would be enough to carry her through the challenges of life. Now she began to realize they weren’t enough, good as they were. She needed knowledge, too, wisdom, experience, skills of mind and spirit that she still lacked, that she didn’t even know enough about to realize that she lacked them.
Her grandmother Sveipinfalda’s call to her began to make a lot of sense. I have much to teach you, she had told Gridhr during that spaeworking months ago. Indeed. Up until now Gridhr had thought this a great adventure, an opportunity to meet unknown kinswomen and learn interesting things. Now she began to realize that her life, and her children’s lives, might depend on what she could learn, what wisdom she could grasp, what new skills she could master. This wasn’t a girlish adventure. She was wound into the worlds and deeds of the Gods now; threads of Wyrd ran from herself off into unknown directions, tugging her she knew not where. Enemies who, she assumed, would simply have ignored a young Jotun shepherdess, were lurking like spiders across her path, spinning webs to trap a helpless butterfly. She must no longer be that helpless butterfly.
“Tell me what you know about my children, Porridge,” she said seriously. “I don’t know what to expect. Will they be great, wise beings from the moment they are born? How can I possibly be a mother to them?”
“There’s much that I don’t know, Gridhr, and I advise you to speak of this with your grandmother and the other wise ones with her. But no – I think that they will, most of the time, be ordinary children while they are still small. The powers that they showed during the fight with Angrboda….” he mused, scraping the ground absently with a long horny fingernail, “…I wasn’t there, I don’t know so much about it. I am not one who can fight the likes of Angrboda. I can only read a little bit of your children’s memories as they sleep now. But you know that their bodies are not fully formed, and I would say that this left their great spirits free to act, somehow, in the fight. Their spirits are still only loosely tied to their bodies. Once they are born, and spirits and bodies more tightly knit together, it will be many years before their spirits and bodies together can grow to the greatness that is truly theirs. Many years, during which you will need to teach them much, Gridhr. That is your challenge: to learn what they will need to know, so you can teach them.”
Gridhr nodded solemnly. “I know. I understand now why my grandmother called me on this journey.”
“It was partly me, too, you know, Gridhr. I helped awaken your children’s spirits,” the landwight said, shyly ducking his head.
“What do you mean?”
“When I first found you I felt their spirits needed to be awakened, fed with the power of the land. I sang them wight-galdors, I told them tales of greatness…..you heard me.”
“Yes. I thought that was all simply for enjoyment, to pass the time.”
Porridge snorted. “Pass the time! Yes, I commonly speak out all the deepest lore of the landwights, even the Hidden Tongue itself, just to entertain a pair of empty-headed Jotun-maids!” He grimaced.
Gridhr blushed. “I see what you mean,” she said humbly. “I thought, more than once, that you must be a great lore-master, but I didn’t think the landwights had such things as lore-masters.”
“That’s what we want people to think, so they leave us alone. The last thing we want is to be plagued with empty-headed youngsters of Jotnar and Menfolk and Dwarves and what-all, begging us to teach them our secrets!”
“Yes, I see,” Gridhr answered. “Well, I give you my word that we will not speak of this to others.”
Porridge nodded regally. “I am coming to love your children, though, Gridhr,” he said, “and I believe I have much to teach them, myself.”
“I would be grateful if you would,” Gridhr said quietly.
Midafternoon, as Gridhr lay and watched grey clouds mass on the horizon, Skadhi showed up with two companions, giantesses even taller and stronger than herself and Gridhr. The two new Jotynjur strode energetically into the small campsite and greeted Gridhr with warm smiles.
“How do you fare, cousin?” Skadhi asked, squatting down beside her. “Is your leg doing better?” Skadhi herself looked pale and tired, still headachy from the battle, Gridhr guessed.
“I’m a good deal better, Skadhi, thanks to Porridge and his herbs. How fare you?”
“Tired, but I’ll mend. Now, greet these two kinswomen of ours!”
“More kinswomen? I had no idea!” Gridhr grinned happily. For so long, her family had been a small one with few kinfolk. New kin were welcome, indeed.
Skadhi rose and turned to the new women. “These are Fenja and Menja. Fenja is the daughter of our uncle Idi, though we’ve never met him. And Menja, Gridhr, is in fact a half-sister of yours, older daughter of your father Aurnir!”
“What!” Shock held Gridhr silent for a moment; then a growing joy spread out from her heart onto her face. “A sister! I never knew……no one told me……”
Fair-haired Menja knelt beside Gridhr, who was again quivering with emotion. She took both Gridhr’s hands in hers and solemnly kissed her brow. Gridhr herself kissed both of Menja’s cheeks and smiled into her eyes.
“Our father wasn’t much for talk and tales about himself, was he?” Menja said wryly to Gridhr.
Mutely Gridhr shook her head. “I never knew him well. He traveled so much, and the last time I saw him I was still very young. I don’t even know if he is still among the living. You didn’t know about me, either?”
“No. Fenja and I have known we were cousins for most of our lives, just like you and Skadhi, I gather. But we left our homes early and went off adventuring into the Worlds, spent many years in Midgard…..and there’s a tale to tell you later! We’ve been out of touch with Jotunfolk for a long time. We came just a short time ago to Sveipinfalda’s place, just by chance, we thought, but now I don’t think so. Anyway, it was only now that we heard you were coming and that we are all kin.” She smiled at Skadhi to include her as well.
“When I asked for help, these two jumped forward and claimed the task,” Skadhi grinned.
Fenja, her dark-brown braid of hair swinging over her shoulder, knelt beside Gridhr and smiled at her. “Greetings, cousin,” she said in her strong voice. “And greetings to those you carry, as well.”
Greatly heartened, Gridhr felt she could now face the last stretch of her journey. She saw that the Jotynjur had brought a small, lightweight sledge with them to transport her, well cushioned with fleeces against the bumpy terrain, and supplied with a soft rope to steady her against the back of the sledge. Quickly they packed up their few belongings and set on their way. The bumps and jolts of the sledge ride, and pain from her leg, were swallowed up in Gridhr’s joy and excitement. Getting to know a sister and other new kinsfolk, great lore and learning, healing, help and guidance: all of these awaited her at the mysterious steading of the wise giantesses.